Recently I was talking with someone who was struggling with their Christian walk with God. I asked her, How is your prayer life? When I have asked God for wisdom and discernment for a situation or for a particular answer, it has strengthened my faith when He responds in a way that I know it could only be from Him.
As I pondered this conversation later, I thought, I’ve been praying about something important for months. Why hasn’t God answered me? Immediately, It seemed that God asked, “Do you REALLY want to know what I think?”
The conversation in my head went something like this…
Of course I do!
Then why haven’t you fasted? Every other time in life when you REALLY wanted to hear from God you fasted and He revealed His will to you. Remember that one life- changing decision you had to make years ago and God said, “No” and even though it made you sad, you knew God was right? You obeyed and now you can see it was the right thing.
Why would I not want to know God’s will in this?
As I searched my heart I realized something.
Well, I really didn’t want God to say no, but honestly, I was scared He would say yes. It had been easier to straddle the fence and just keep praying about it.
That’s when the tears came, uncontrollably, running down my face. I realized I did not completely trust God in this matter. I had deceived myself into thinking I was submitted to God’s will, but I really wasn’t.
A few days later I heard a sermon about God just wanting our obedience. Most of the people God used to do miraculous things, were not extraordinary people, the pastor said. They were just ordinary people with faults like the rest of us. What set them apart was their obedience and submission to God. They believed God. They were humble. They knew if anything good happened, it wasn’t going to be because of them or any talent they had. It would be because of God.
The next day I was determined to pray and fast and get serious about getting some direction from God. Before talking with a godly friend, I asked God to use her to help me know His will about this matter. After some conversation, she sweetly smiled at me and said, Gaye, you have asked God for months to direct and guide you. Do you not believe He has? He has led you. I can see it. He is guiding you, but you must follow. Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean He isn’t answering. The faith walk isn’t about understanding it all and plainly seeing way down the road. It’s about stepping out in faith, believing God, and trusting Him with your future.
I began to realize I had a “trust” problem. Frankly, I was surprised. I thought I was ok with God about that and maybe I am in most parts of my life, but I wasn’t trusting God in this area. The struggle was real. It felt very similar to my salvation experience. I wanted to let go and trust God, but…. It’s hard to give up the temptation to logically try to figure out the details. It’s hard to trust when there are so many obstacles and I can’t see any way it can all work out. But faith isn’t about seeing. I then said, Ok God, if this is Your will, I will trust You. I felt a rush of relief and joy. The tears came again. Did I hear God’s voice? No, but I believe He was dealing with me…nudging me to trust Him.
Hebrews 11:6 tells us faith is the basis for walking with God and pleasing Him.
A few hours later I was listening to the radio. The host for the talk show was a lady who the Lord had been leading her and her husband to adopt a child. Although, they had never considered being qualified to do such a thing, they finally submitted to God’s direction. The very day they signed the papers to adopt, she discovered she was pregnant. So she soon had a newborn and a 6 month old and life became very difficult.
She later wrote a book about the things God taught her through her difficult journey. She had to lay down her standard of perfection and be what God called her to be…a loving mother with a less than perfect life. One comment particularly struck me.
We won’t do anything great while sitting still. Often when God wants us to move, it’s out of our comfort zones. Where there is movement, there is friction. But it’s in the heat of the fire, where God does His best work.
If you are wanting to do great things for God, earnestly pray for His direction in your life and be willing to follow where He leads you.
Faith is not the absence of doubt. Faith is the presence of belief. – Author unknown
Keep looking up,