“Expectations always get me in trouble. I’ve learned to try not to have any,” said my friend many years ago. I didn’t like the sound of it then or now. “Wait a minute! Don’t I deserve a certain level of respect? I daily serve my family, surely it’s not wrong to have a few expectations met in return,” I thought.
Fast forward about 15 years and here I am dealing with a pandemic that is wreaking havoc with my Thanksgiving plans. How are we suppose to cope with unmet expectations? How do we put on a happy face when the waves of disappointment threatens to drown us? I’ve come to believe a truth- based perspective is everything.
Imagine you are on the interstate headed to a gathering of friends and family. This event has been planned for months and you’ve been counting down the days. You’re finally having a good hair day and feeling especially pretty in your new outfit. Then it happens…. you see the sea of red brake lights up ahead. Uggghhh. It’s a traffic jam. “NO! This can’t be happening. Not now. Not tonight.” You look at your GPS and the predicted delay is over an hour. You may get angry or have a melt down in a puddle of tears out of pure frustration.
In contrast, you find yourself suddenly stopped in traffic, but you’re headed to a dental cleaning appointment you’ve been dreading for 3 weeks. Instead of feeling angry, you are relieved that you have a good excuse for not making the appointment. Our feelings are a result of our perspective.
Our pastor delivered a timely sermon yesterday on having a grateful heart even during adversity. The Israelites were about to receive the long awaited inheritance of the promised land of Canaan, but they still had to fight some battles. God was faithful to fight their battles for them and we know He always keeps His promises, but that didn’t mean life was a walk in the park then or will be for us now.
I’m tempted to gripe and complain to others when things aren’t going my way, but that attitude isn’t helpful for anyone including myself. Spreading negativity only makes things worse. We have a choice. When disappointment knocks at our door do we take the high road and start counting our blessings or jog down the hill of despair?
Yesterday I thought about a little activity I want to try. When I’m disappointed even about little things, I want to write it down and mentally lay it on the altar as a sacrifice to God reminding myself that He is using this to sanctify me if I will allow Him. It will be my attempt to keep my vessel (heart) clean of bitterness and flowing with joy so the Master can use me to love others.
We can expect disappointments in this life. We aren’t in heaven yet. But let’s learn to limit our other expectations so we don’t put undue pressure on our loved ones. We may have to look harder at times, but the blessings are there if we search for them.
“Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms. For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods.” Psalm 95:2
Keep looking up!
Gaye Hughes Hammersley
Praise You In My Storm 
Good words Gaye! I always can use a reminder to keep those expectations way down and think in terms of hopes. And always focus on thankfulness for our many blessings. Our entire family was together Saturday for the first time since last December. I doubt we can repeat that in another month. I am super thankful for that and also the news from Judah and Katherine that Katherine is pregnant! Love to you and yours, Sally
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Congratulations Sally! Those grandbabies are SO sweet!
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Good words Gaye.
My ramblings 🙂
The words “disappointed” and expectations come from
Dis – appoint – to have made an appointment with some future situation but have that appointment fail to materialize
Ex -(s)pectation – literally the state of “out-looking”, to look out (forward in time) visualizing a specific out come.
Some think that the answer is to have no expectations but I offer that is unworkable and can turn one into a non engaged “what-ever” person. The very concept of planning requires some level of expectation. If a wife plans a meal, she is by necessity establishing an expectation. So, I offer we should allow ourselves to take on expectations but: 1) insure all our expectations are good, that is, only desire outcomes that are from a right heart and are not selfish, vindictive, etc. 2) insure all “lesser” (even trivial) expectations are subordinate to greater exceptions and that those are subject to even greater ones. This tree, and where each expectation hangs on that tree, should ever be in our hearts and minds. If a lesser expectation, even if good, fails we can rest in the greater ones. At the top of that exception hierarchy are the scriptural promises, but even those we must be careful of reading beyond what Yahweh intended. At the top, is a heart that even when our tree is shaken and we struggle to understand, we can wait on Him and say: “All my exceptions are in You oh Lord!”
Blessings to you, Scott, and all your clan.
Peter
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Great comments Peter! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us!
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Gaye it was so good to hear another great message from you!!
Thank you so much for sharing!
Love and peace to you and your family,
Angie Marion
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Hello Angie! I’m so sorry I haven’t checked my blog lately. Happy New Year my friend!
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